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The Winter Olympics are an exciting time to take pride in your country as the global platform gives individuals the chance to represent what matters most to your home nation. Sometimes this means wearing stately, polished uniforms that show off your most regal side, other times it means going all out in patriotic kitsch (rarely a visually appealing sight).
We'll give the following athletes the benefit of the doubt. Being an Olympian is a lot like being a bridesmaid, you wear what someone else wants and you look happy about it because it's your duty. Let's take a look through The Worst Winter Olympic Uniforms of All Time.
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Making a Statement
Country: Germany
Year: 2014
Where: Sochi, Russia
The multicolor uniforms from Germany this year are a political statement against Russia's intolerance of gay rights. While it's easy to love the message that Germany is sharing, would it be so hard to make them a bit more fashionable? Great statement, bad look.
Dipped in Gold
Country: Japan
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Speed skating uniforms are a hit or miss. Sometimes they can look really awesome and slick (see the Mach 39), and other times they just look awkward and unfitting. It's the chance you take when wearing a skin tight body uniform. Unfortunately, for Japan this one was a miss.
The Year of the Cowboy
Country: USA
Year: 1984
Where: Sarajevo, Yugoslavia
That sign says it all, this look is a little sad. Maybe the cowboy look was trending hard in 1984.
Clowning Around
Country: Germany
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
As a multiple offender for this list, Germany took no exceptions to their ugly uniforms for ice skating. Dressing up like a clown should only happen for two reasons. One, Halloween. Two, if you actually are a clown, like the one who shows up to birthdays and blows balloons. Germany didn't get the memo.
Mexico Apparently Loves the Movie "Top Gun"
Country: Mexico
Year: 2002
Where: Salt Lake City, USA
So good it's bad or so good it's good? These outfits aren't necessarily ugly, if anything they are pretty badass. It's just when you see these outfits it's hard not to think of the movie "Top Gun."
Then, Let's Have The Maple Leaf Morph Into a Tiger!
Country: Canada
Year: 2006
Where: Turin, Italy
In 2006 Canada took a fierce approach with their speed skating uniforms. Jagged lines with random red and white maple leaves spread across the arms and legs make for a very funny looking outfit.
Hard to Believe This Was Pre-Harry Potter
Country: Morroco
Year: 1992
Where: Albertville, France
There are no crazy prints or loud colors here. Maybe that's the problem. Brown and Green don't really mix well unless you're in the forrest or something. But, on a way more awesome note, these capes are pretty cool.
No Wonder France Calls Us Sloppy
Country: USA
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Shaun White and company did very well back in 2010 taking home a handful of medals. The only thing they forgot to do was tailor their pants. Burton created a plaid top (not so bad), and pants that were made to look like very baggy denim.
Norway, Nuff Said
Country: Norway
Year: 2014
Where: Sochi, Russia
The Norwegians really know how to do two things at the winter olympics well. One being curling obviously, and the other being crazy with their uniforms. Known for sporting wacky prints and loud colors, it's pretty much expected to see Norway like this everywhere they go.
Canada Looking A Lot Like Russia
Country: Canada
Year: 1994
Where: Lillehammer, Norway
From far away it looks like these athletes could've been from Russia. Big coats, fur, a lot of red; all traits of past Russian uniforms. Canada fooled us, and for that reason alone these uniforms made this list.
An Outfit So Good It'll Make You Want to Retire
Country: Italy
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Samuel Contesti of Italy dressed up as a stereotypical hillbilly, dirt and all. Let's just say that after this performance Contesti retired and went on to coaching instead. Was this outfit a career ender? Maybe.
Germany is Ready for the Olympics And A Baby Shower #AtTheSameDamnTime
Country: Germany
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Girls wear pink and boys wear blue. Those are words you mainly hear at a baby shower. This theme isn't the first time Germany took cues from a newborn baby, check out what they wore for the 1988 opening ceremony in Calgary. Lavender and baby blue, now those were bad.
These Parkas Are Three Sizes Too Big
Country: USA
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
The USA Bobsled team had a lot of reason to celebrate, taking home a bronze medal in 2010. One thing they should never celebrate are these parkas. Reminiscent of the tall tee era, these parkas were a bit on the huge side. It doesn't help that the allover star print make them look like pajamas.
Frank, Is That You?
Country: Russia
Year: 1992
Where: Albertville, France
These outfits would've been cool if it were the mid 1940's. Almost 50 years late is a little too late.
The Wrong Hat Can Ruin Your Whole Outfit
Country: Czech Republic
Year: 2014
Where: Sochi, Russia
The jackets aren't so bad, other than the fact that they look like a Wonder Bread bag. The real problem here is the Johnny Appleseed hats. The second guy on the left doesn't look to happy about them.
The Pants Make the Man
Country: Norway
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
In Norway's case, the pants really do make the man. The Norwegian men's curling team went on to win a silver medal this year in Vancouver.
These Uniforms Were EXCELLENT Until the Cowboy Hat
Country: USA
Year: 1984
Where: Sarajevo, Yugoslavia
Like Mexico in 2002, these skiing uniforms don't look half bad. They aren't too loud, but still have a lot of color to represent their country. It's just those cowboy hats, they just ruin the whole thing. How many cowboys did you know about that did anything on ice?
No. Words.
Country: Russia
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Russia really outdid themselves in 2010. Attempting to emulate Australian aboriginals, the Russians did more offending then anything else. Instead of paying a positive tribute, they looked like a mixture of Avatar, Tarzan, and Oompa Loompas. But why was Russia trying to pay homage to Australian Aboriginals anyways?
Jackson Pollack Attacks Czech Team Pre-Show
Country: Czech Republic
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
It looks like the Czech Republic took some inspiration form Jackson Pollack in 2010. These uniforms look like someone splattered paint all over their pants and chest. With that being said, that style is better left on a canvas than a uniform.
Are Those Suspenders Printed On Your Shirt?
Country: Switzerland
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Plaid seems to be a favorite for winter olympic uniforms. That we can get past (we actually kinda dig), but it's the matching suspenders on the shirts. The worst thing is those suspenders don't look real as they are printed on.
Canadian Cowboys
Country: Canada
Year: 1988
Where: Calgary, Canada
When the winter olympics were held in Canada the home team decided to drift away from their roots and take on a wild west look. Athletes were decked out with white cowboy hats and leather tassels. This look just didn't work out for the Canadians.
Mother Russia!
Country: Russia
Year: 2014
Where: Sochi, Russia
Russia had some pretty unique prints in the 2012 olympics in London. They stuck to that theme with the base layers of their uniforms this year. The major change comes with the Santa Clause fur jackets. The home nation look a lot like the north pole with these ones.
Blue Man On Ice
Country: Ukraine
Year: 2010
Where: Vancouver, British Columbia
Ukraine went with the glossy blue elastic body suites in Vancouver. These uniforms are reminiscent to the movie "Blades of Glory" starring Will Ferrell. If you don't know the movie, look it up and you'll see why we think these outfits are a hilarious comparison.
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